Being an International Board-Certified Lactation Consultant was not my plan, but as my family changed and grew becoming an IBCLC became very important to me! Becoming a mother, I felt that breastfeeding was part of a motherhood experience, but it did not go as I had planned. My story tells of how I was guided into the career of lactation.

My story of breastfeeding begins with my 1st child. Like many new mothers, plans of labor, delivery and breastfeeding can soon be disrupted by reality. Planning a healthy pregnancy, and having one, was two different stories and my complicated pregnancy ended in a cesarean section. Then came breastfeeding, it was going great, but when I got an infection and was told to “pump and dump” my milk for two weeks, breastfeeding and the intimate bond with my son slowly diminished. Once I began pumping, I soon got engorgement and he found bottle feeding difficult. When I would hold him, he would root and want to breastfeed, so I made the sad decision not to hold him the second week of pumping and dumping and watched my mom, husband and sisters comfort him. He was completely formula fed by one month of age!

When my second child, a girl, came 2 ½ years later, again we had a difficult pregnancy and another cesarean section with a premature baby. She was a great breastfeeder, but it felt as if she was always wanting to feed. I was very overwhelmed with a 2 ½ year old and a demanding new baby. Again, I did not know of a medical professional who could answer my questions about my milk supply, what was a normal part of feedings or anything to do with breastfeeding. Sitting in my living room with the sun shining on me I remember telling my son, “mommy doesn’t have any more milk for sister”. She was around the age of 4 months and was screaming when I put her to the breast. By the end of 4 months she was completely formula fed!

With two complicated pregnancies and deliveries behind me, and now a healthy boy and girl, I was told it was in mine and any future babies’ best interest not to have anymore children. I was sad, as this was not our plan, but after a few years I felt good about that decision.

I decided this was the best time to take a couple of college classes and began a career. I stayed at home with my two children and took classes for the next four years. After completion I graduated with a medical transcription diploma and was ready to put my daughter into kindergarten and began a career. About a month later I was pregnant with my third baby!

This was not an easy time emotionally! My husband and I had a plan, and a new baby was not part of it! I really struggled to be happy about this pregnancy, about the change it would bring to my life and everything that comes along with a new baby. At the beginning of my third trimester I finally decided I needed to accept a new baby was coming and my life was not going as we had planned. With this baby I decided to make goals for myself. Breastfeeding was my number one goal and not just to breastfeed but to breastfeed for 1 year, I was going to ask questions to doctors, nurses or anyone who would be able to help me, and I was going to put her needs first. Meaning I was not going to worry about dirty dishes, laundry, showering, etc. I knew breastfeeding was free, and since I had just graduated and intended on working, breastfeeding sounded financially logical. I knew breastfeeding would help with weight loss, so I chose to breastfeed, and since my new baby was born in the winter, I did not want to worry about going to the store to get formula, so breastfeeding seemed to be the best choice! Although it was for my selfish reasons. I had heard other mothers say breastfeeding was a great and wonderful experience, but I did not find that to be true with either of my older children. I chose to breastfeed to see what was so great about it, to help my family financially and for my own health. I never chose to breastfeed for my baby!

When she was born the emotional and mental state I was experiencing was awful. This baby I never planned and who was holding me back from my career was finally here. I looked at her after my cesarean and a mix of negative emotions from my pregnancy and the new love of positive emotions for my new baby was overwhelming! She was born premature and with complications, but we began breastfeeding immediately! My commitment to breastfeeding brought an unbelievable and indescribable connection with her. I decided not to question her, I listened to her! If she was hungry, I fed her. If she cried, I comforted her. She was exclusively breastfed, no bottles, pacifiers, or anything artificial. Making this decision to not allow a bottle in our house gave me no other choice but to stick to my goal of breastfeeding for one year. Being the only one who fed her, this gave me a bond that I feel may not have been there considering my state of mind about having this new baby! Breastfeeding gave me a deep connection to her that may have been lost if I would have introduced bottles and space between us.

At one point, when she was 5 months old, I had a hard day with her, when my husband got home from work, I asked him to take her for a while. He told me this was the longest I had breastfed, and it would be okay to give her a bottle, so I could rest. I told him “no, I don’t need her to have a bottle to rest, I just need a break, I don’t need to give up on my goal.” In the mix of family and life our fourth child came along through adoption, a boy! Although I did not breastfeed him, he was a breastfed baby! At the beginning of our marriage, like many couples, my husband and I planned our family and our dreams. With unforeseen complications and unplanned surprises, our family was complete. What we originally had envisioned of four children was a reality, we had our two boys and two girls, just as we had planned. He and my children became my supporters all through our breastfeeding journey.

Our journey came to an end at 3 ½ years! Those whispers and negative comments began to come, it was long before 3 ½ years, but I chose to begin the weaning process at 3 ½ year. I knew it was time as she was getting older, but my heart and hers were not ready to break that bond. It came with weeks of tears and several months of depression. This part of motherhood would be over for me forever, and that was difficult to go through and accept!

The baby that was unplanned and disrupted my career plans gave me a new reason to live! I have found so much satisfaction and success with being able to guide and educate other mothers who would like the experience of breastfeeding and to help them deal with the physical and emotional challenges of a new baby and motherhood.

When my youngest daughter was 3 years old, I began helping moms as a breastfeeding peer counselor at the WIC Clinic, a few years later I received my Certified Lactation Counselor Certificate (CLC). Knowing I wanted to be able to offer breastfeeding services to my community, I continued my education to become an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. To further help families, I have chosen to begin classes to become a Newborn Care Specialist.. I am grateful and excited to provide my services, skills, expertise and education to Western Nebraska and the surrounding area families!